Laser Eyes Were CGI, Says Former Intern
12 min ago
HODL Temple · Est. forever agoMikol Sellor
Mikol Sellor
buys $Sellor
Chief HODL Officer of Mikrostrategee. He never sells it. He only buys it. He buys it when it goes up. He buys it when it goes down. He buys it when his lawyers say stop. He never sells it.*
*Asterisk added in late May. Pay no attention to the asterisk.
LASER EYES NEVER LIE
₿ NEVER SELL IT₿ BUY $SELLOR₿ DIAMOND HANDS₿ HAVE FUN STAYING POOR₿ ONE MORE DIP₿ WE NEVER SELL IT₿ OK MAYBE 32 OF THEM₿ NEVER SELL IT₿ BUY $SELLOR₿ DIAMOND HANDS₿ HAVE FUN STAYING POOR₿ ONE MORE DIP₿ WE NEVER SELL IT₿ OK MAYBE 32 OF THEM₿ NEVER SELL IT₿ BUY $SELLOR₿ DIAMOND HANDS₿ HAVE FUN STAYING POOR₿ ONE MORE DIP₿ WE NEVER SELL IT₿ OK MAYBE 32 OF THEM
Real numbers / live tape
Actual market prices, regrettably real
Bitcoin updates live every 30 seconds via CoinGecko. MSTR shows the last known close. The chart below plots daily BTC candles since August 2020, with circular markers for every Mikrostrategee buy and (regrettably) sell they have disclosed. None of this is financial advice — it is barely even emotional advice.
Bitcoin · BTC/USDCached
…
Mikrostrategee · MSTRLast close
…
—— a leveraged bet on a man who said he'd never sell.
BTC/USD·1D·Since Aug 2020
Interval
Range
Type
Full chart →Loading candles…
Mikrostrategee boughtMikrostrategee sold (briefly, with asterisk)
The complete "never sell" ledger
Every single time they sold it
In its entire history, Mikrostrategee has publicly disclosed selling Bitcoin exactly four times— which, for a company whose entire personality is "never sell," is precisely four times too many.
Dec 22, 2022704 BTC
- Proceeds
- ≈ $11.8M
- Reason
- Tax-loss harvesting
Bought back 810 BTC two days later, so it basically never happened. Wink.
May 26–31, 202632 BTC
- Proceeds
- ≈ $2.5M
- Reason
- Funding the STRC preferred-stock dividend
First sale since 2022. No reported buy-back this time. The asterisk grows.
June 29–30, 20261,363 BTC
- Proceeds
- ≈ $80.8M
- Reason
- Preferred dividends + USD reserve
Turns out 32 was just the opening act.
July 1–5, 20262,225 BTC
- Proceeds
- ≈ $135.2M
- Reason
- More preferred dividends + USD reserve
Holdings land at 843,775 BTC. We are still never selling it*, except when we are.
Sources: company disclosures via press reports (Dec 2022: 704 BTC sold, 810 rebought days later; May 2026: 32 BTC; Jun–Jul 2026: 3,588 BTC sold for dividends and the USD reserve). Holdings reported at 843,775 BTC as of July 12, 2026. Numbers are real; the laser eyes are editorial.
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EXCLUSIVE: ASTERISK ADDED TO NEVER-SELL POLICY★PHOTOS: MIKOL SELLOR'S DIAMOND HANDS OR JUST NERVOUS SWEAT?★SOURCES: LAWYERS SAID STOP — HE SAID EVERYDIP★INSIDER: STRATEGEE MEETING ENDED IN GROUP HODL★REPORT: PAPER HANDS CLUB REJECTS HIS APPLICATION AGAIN★BREAKING: 843,775 COINS STILL NOT FOR SALE*★EXCLUSIVE: ASTERISK ADDED TO NEVER-SELL POLICY★PHOTOS: MIKOL SELLOR'S DIAMOND HANDS OR JUST NERVOUS SWEAT?★SOURCES: LAWYERS SAID STOP — HE SAID EVERYDIP★INSIDER: STRATEGEE MEETING ENDED IN GROUP HODL★REPORT: PAPER HANDS CLUB REJECTS HIS APPLICATION AGAIN★BREAKING: 843,775 COINS STILL NOT FOR SALE*★EXCLUSIVE: ASTERISK ADDED TO NEVER-SELL POLICY★PHOTOS: MIKOL SELLOR'S DIAMOND HANDS OR JUST NERVOUS SWEAT?★SOURCES: LAWYERS SAID STOP — HE SAID EVERYDIP★INSIDER: STRATEGEE MEETING ENDED IN GROUP HODL★REPORT: PAPER HANDS CLUB REJECTS HIS APPLICATION AGAIN★BREAKING: 843,775 COINS STILL NOT FOR SALE*★
Whale watching
Who actually owns all the Bitcoin
A clean breakdown of the largest known Bitcoin holders. Hover or tap a slice for details. Mikrostrategee's wedge glows gold — because of course it does. Figures are approximate, publicly reported, and not financial advice.
Top holders · share of 21M supply
Corporate treasuryThe star of the show
Mikrostrategee (Strategy / MSTR)
843,775 BTC
23.6% of tracked stash4.02% of all 21M BTC
Buys $Sellor. Sold a mikro amount, then a macro amount, all with an asterisk. The most leveraged conviction in the game.
Pie = full 21M BTC cap. Top seven = 3,580,775 BTC combined (17.1% of supply). Rest is everyone else. Figures are approximate, publicly reported, and not financial advice.
Crowd consensus / live odds
PolySellor Desk
Real Polymarket bets on Mikrostrategee — bankruptcy, BTC targets, weekly purchases, margin calls. The crowd thinks they know what Mikol will do next. History suggests the asterisk has other plans.
Mikrostrategee MarketsOffline
View all on Polymarket →Real Polymarket odds · Not financial advice · Asterisks sold separately
The Sacred Vow · v1.0
We will never sell it
Mikol Sellor has personally promised, on stage, in podcasts, in all-caps tweets, and in the Mikrostrategee shareholder letter, that the coins are forever. They are not for selling. They are for holding. Until the heat death of the universe. Guaranteed.
ForeverNo exitDiamond handsHeat death of the universePinky promise
This section is preserved exactly as written before late May 2026. We have decided not to edit it. For the historians.
Official corporate philosophy
Buy $Sellor
There is no dip too small for Mikol. There is no salary, mortgage, or company treasury that cannot be converted into "one more dip." Click the button. Feel the strategee.
Is it down? Buy $Sellor.
Dips bought by Mikol (live-ish)
840,999
By clicking you agree to never sell it. Probably. Mostly. Until late May.
BitNewsNever Sell Network
Live NowBreakingHeadlines · Ch. 21M
Market Crashes Again. Everyone Surprised Again.
Sellor St. Bureau · Never Sell EditionVol. 21M · Fear Index 99Sources: vibes, laser eyes, one asterisk
MARKET CRASHES AGAIN · EVERYONE SURPRISED AGAIN◆MIKOL SELLOR: WE NEVER SELL IT*◆BTC DOWN 18% · BUY $SELLOR DESK ON FIRE◆PAPER HANDS CLUB ANNOUNCES RECORD MEMBERSHIP◆LIQUIDITY DESK REFUSES REFUNDS · CITES STRATEGEE◆MARKET CRASHES AGAIN · EVERYONE SURPRISED AGAIN◆MIKOL SELLOR: WE NEVER SELL IT*◆BTC DOWN 18% · BUY $SELLOR DESK ON FIRE◆PAPER HANDS CLUB ANNOUNCES RECORD MEMBERSHIP◆LIQUIDITY DESK REFUSES REFUNDS · CITES STRATEGEE◆MARKET CRASHES AGAIN · EVERYONE SURPRISED AGAIN◆MIKOL SELLOR: WE NEVER SELL IT*◆BTC DOWN 18% · BUY $SELLOR DESK ON FIRE◆PAPER HANDS CLUB ANNOUNCES RECORD MEMBERSHIP◆LIQUIDITY DESK REFUSES REFUNDS · CITES STRATEGEE◆
BitNews is a parody network. Not financial advice. Asterisks sold separately.
BreakingSpooder-Sense tingling · last 72 hrs
Plot twist: they sold it
In a move that absolutely no laser-eyed prophecy saw coming, Mikrostrategee quietly sold 3,620 coins in 2026 alone (32 in late May, then 3,588 more by early July) for about $218 million — its first sales since 2022. The official reason: paying dividends on very-real-sounding preferred stock and topping up the USD reserve.
Mikol insists this is "tactical and symbolic" and totally different from selling, even though it is, definitionally, selling. With great HODLing comes great asterisks.
843,775 still HODLed3,620 sold in '26
"Never sell it"
"Just sold it"
The official message
"We never sell it."
Repeated approximately one billion times across every keynote, interview, and timeline since the dawn of laser eyes.
The actual 2026 footnote
"*okay, 3,620 of it."
For dividends. Tactically. Symbolically. Totally on purpose. We are still never selling it, except for the parts we keep selling.
Certified Mikro Lore
The Mikro Memes
Everything here is small except the conviction (and the eventual regret). Approved by zero compliance departments.
Why 'Mikro'strategee?
Because the strategy is enormous but the part where they admitted to selling was kept... mikroscopic. Tiny font. Press release at 4 AM. You blink, you miss it.
Mikro-sell, they said
32 BTC out of 843,706. 'It's a mikro position,' they insisted, sweating. The market did not find the size reassuring. Size does matter when it's your conviction.
Mikropenis Indicator™
A leading on-chain metric measuring the gap between how loudly a man says 'NEVER SELL' and the actual length of time before he sells. Currently flashing red.
Have fun staying poor
Said the man, moments before selling a little bit to fund a dividend. The poor stayed poor. He also stayed poor-er by 32 BTC. We are all learning.
Show me your hands
Diamond hands? Paper hands? No. Mikro hands. Just big enough to hold the asset, just shaky enough to release exactly 32 of it for liquidity reasons.
Buy $Sellor
Dip goes down: buy $Sellor. Dip goes up: that's a dip in your fiat, buy $Sellor. There is no dip. There is only buy $Sellor. Until late May, when there was, briefly, a sell.
Parody. Not financial, anatomical, or emotional advice. Any resemblance to real laser-eyed executives is entirely the point.
The Foundational Document
The Mikropaper
The actual Bitcoin whitepaper — Bitcoin: A Peer-to-Peer Electronic Cash System by Satoshi Nakamoto (2008). Mikol did not write this. He just bought more of whatever it describes.
Loading mikropaper…
Source: bitcoin.org/bitcoin.pdf. Section 6 mentions mining incentives. Mikol interpreted that as "never sell it."